Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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