Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize