His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
