hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
