yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
