i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
