Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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