he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
