just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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