David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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