the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
