Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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