he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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