I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
