My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
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