You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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