After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
