:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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