My liver just broke up with me...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
