I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
