We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
