she looked like the before picture.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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