Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
