my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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