just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
