ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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