I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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