dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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