Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
