I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
