last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
false alarm. still invincible.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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