i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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