My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
