the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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