i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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