just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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