So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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