just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
