your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i wish my penis had a tongue
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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