Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
