like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
