you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
