you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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