My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
