Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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