This is not my ceiling
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
