then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
