she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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