Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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