It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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