Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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