We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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