Porn is love you can see.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
