trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
