I wish I could teleport
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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