Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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