There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
