Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
