i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If I die, sorry about rent.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
