I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
