all she had left on were here heels. phone five
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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