If i come over, it means nothing
he thought i was a dude.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
