We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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