So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
