I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
