Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
