That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
