and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
