The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
