My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
