I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
