I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
