Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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