Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
