Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
