She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
