so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
