well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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