I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
