I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
