i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
