I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
