I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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