im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
