normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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