something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We have started to decorate penises.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
