All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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